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Busy parent? Putting yourself last?

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Busy parent? Putting yourself last?

busy mom with child

“𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 “𝗺𝗲” 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗛𝗲𝗰𝗸, 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗜 𝗮𝗺…𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘀. 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝗼𝗯, 𝗜 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝗺-𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁.”

—-

When on consult calls with busy struggling moms and dads, I hear something along these lines about 9 times out of 10.

Often what follows is something like, “If I could just get 10 lbs off, I know I’d feel SO much better, but that just feels impossible with my current pace of life”.

—-
For many, saying these things out loud to me is legitimately the first time they’ve shared with another how they are feeling, and it’s not uncommon for emotions they weren’t expecting to start coming out during or shortly after they let me know where they are with things.

There is a LOT going on here, and it transcends needing any certain amount of weight loss to feel good, so within a 30 or 45 or 60 minute call, I try my best to convey to them the following:

⇢ How we carry ourselves, how we perceive ourselves, our general outlook and disposition is so often entirely based on how we take care of ourselves.

⇢ More parents than not, moms/wives especially, have been ‘doing’ for everyone around them for longer than they can remember, and have lost themselves entirely in that process.

⇢ Their self care, their wants, their needs, all come behind everyone else’s, whether in their minds or in reality, but often that IS the truth of it.

⇢ Typically it doesn’t happen all at once where *finger snap*, it’s not ‘about them’ anymore, it’s more of a slow but steady gradual progression.

⇢ Less and less and less time to take care of themselves. No thoughts put into what or how much they’re eating, no time for that. No thoughts put into how or how often they’re moving their bodies, no time for that either.

⇢ I remind them that while we can’t totally change up their responsibilities or routines, we CAN do a thorough lifestyle audit, and we CAN slowly but surely start to add little things that are our version of stealing time back for them, to work on themselves. It may start with a 5-10 minute walk 2-3x a week. Or coming up with substitutions for that drive-thru meal when there are lots of other fast easy on-the-go options they didn’t even realize existed. Both of these can turn into more and more versions of similar healthy new habits over time.

⇢ When we are able to do a thorough lifestyle audit, we can get quick wins early on, and mentally that is absolutely everything. After years or even decades of just sort of ‘existing’, all the sudden getting intentional with things and seeing immediate results, lights a spark. The fire within starts to come back to life and rather than accepting that the next however many years or decades, they will simply exist and ‘do’ for everyone else, they reclaim their space in the world, as we layer more and more healthy new habits in.

⇢ The weight loss figure they spoke on early on, they’ve all but forgotten about, because we’ve become so process-focused that the outcome has been an afterthought, and that initial weight loss goal we have already passed.

⇢ They are focused on the RIGHT things, and becoming masters of their own process, the outcomes start to far exceed their expectations.

⇢ What they thought was going to be a journey in nutrition coaching has now become more of a total lifestyle transformation and….fancy that…it becomes a body and mindset transformation in the process.

⇢ These individuals are often the brightest of bright lights in any given room, after just a few months working with us, and their energy is contagious. 

⇢ No more sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everyone else play the game.

⇢ They become the captains of their team, leading from the front, inspiring everyone around them to level up by starting focused on the small things which become the big things not far down the line.

⇢ They haven’t gotten any less busy or stretched thin, they’ve simply implemented enough ‘little things’ into their routines to make massive differences, and they’ve shifted their focus from minutia to the things that matter in their health and happiness.

⇢ How they view themselves, how they carry themselves, the worthiness of claiming their space in the world…all of these things have leveled up to an exponential degree of when we first met.

⇢ My calls tend to run long because I can easily get emotional myself when someone opens up to me, but this very connection and this belief that they DO have the fire inside, they just need a little help relighting it, THIS is the very heart of change. 

⇢ The lbs and inches lost is great, but that’s not what anyone is TRULY after. It’s the things they claim back, it’s their self confidence, and it’s standing proudly with conviction that *they are worth it* that truly matters most.

—-

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘀: 

-𝗪𝗲’𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝘅𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗴𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘄 *𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴* 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀.

-𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗙𝗔𝗥 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗢 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁.

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